On May 30, 2002, four men summited Mt. Hood, tired and reveling in the satisfaction of such a feat, these men relaxed as they descended. Feeling confident, they unwisely began pulling their safety stakes, and simply trusted each other and a tether between them to keep them safe. Tragedy began when the top man slipped, as he rushed down the mountain, the rope between him and the next man was not enough to slow his momentum and so he pulled the second man with him. The speed and gravity of two men sliding was too much for the other two and soon all four were falling down the mountain in a perilous struggle for some safety.

At the same time, a little way down the mountain was a group of five climbers, making their way up to the summit. In an unexpected impact, the four falling climbers ran into the five ascending climbers and all were hurled to an eventual broken stop.

Three people lost their lives that day, because tired people make bad decisions.

The last few years have seen leaders and their teams rally. With the cry of “We’re all in this together,” we gave what we could to overcome disease, division, and discrimination. We survived, and some thrived, but we must remember that the summit is not the end of the journey.

All around us, we see people trying to return to life. If you want to lead well, you need to realize that we are not through the struggle.

The Problem

At this point in our journey, leaders need to remember that tired people make bad decisions. Leaders make bad decisions that affect everyone in their range of influence. If we are not careful in our leadership we will fall into this TRAP:

Tired - All the effort to summit the mountain has left us depleted. We have lost everything from dreams, to plans, to life itself. The collective grief of ourselves and our teams has drained us of all reserves. We have rallied, but the journey is not over.

Raw - This weariness and grief leaves us raw. Our emotions are on edge and our wounds are exposed. Maybe at the moment you are ok, but what happens when the next crisis hits. Maybe you have a flat tire, maybe your family gets sick, maybe a major client leaves. Do you have the reserves to rally again?

Much of the angst and anxiety happening in our world is due to the reality that we have not confronted the losses of the crisis and have moved forward not realizing the struggle has left us irritable and insensitive.

Alone - Because it seems like everyone around us is trying to annoy us, or is mad at us for being unkind to them, we feel like no one gets us. We feel alone.

Pull Away - Because we feel alone, and nobody understands us, we run away from any relationship that makes us feel our sensitive areas. This is why so many people are exiting the work that they have done for years. All of us just want to get back to “good life,” but it is easy to believe no one knows what that looks like, but ourselves.

A Safe Descent

Are you struggling to keep employees or keep them engaged? Are you wanting to finish the climb well? If you want to be the leader your team needs, you need to lead differently after crisis. Slow down and follow these ABC’s:

Acknowledge - First, acknowledge the trauma and loss the crisis has brought on. Psychologist, Terry Wordle, explains, “If you have the fruit of dysfunction, you have a root of unhealed wounds.”

In early 2019, I found myself on edge. My wife noticed. My children showed negative signs that something was wrong. I found myself irritable and insensitive. When I took time to examine where I was, with the help of a small group of men close to me, I realized I hadn’t grieved.

I’m not good at grief. I often handle loss by moving forward, but in the previous four years, I had lost a dear friend to liver failure. Her husband, who was my closest confidant at the time, soon moved on to deal with his own grief. Due to these and other circumstances, the organization I led soon found itself in financial strains, but rather than just close up shop we merged with another organization. Still the loss of the 15 years of work was real. Finally, after 3 years, due to differences of direction, I was released from my position with the new organization.

Through all the change, I embraced the positive opportunities, but never grieved the losses. By early 2019, it had all caught up to me. In order to move forward, and not destroy my family and my future, I learned to acknowledge the loss and mourn. The freedom of that admission alone, gave me strength to face the next few years, and the ability to grieve better during the global crisis.

As a leadership coach, I regularly have the opportunity to help leaders look closely at the truth of where on the health scale they and their teams are functioning. Oftentimes, the recognition of loss is enough to give a leader strength and grace to lead better.

Balance - One tool that has changed my ability to lead others well is what GiANT calls the Support/Challenge Matrix. In this matrix, we see the need to balance high support and high challenge in order to liberate others to live at their best. Too much support without challenge creates a culture of mistrust and entitlement. Too much challenge without support creates a culture of fear and manipulation. Only when we balance high support and challenge do we bring liberation.

However, in the current environment, we must also consider all the challenges we have already faced, and as mentioned before, know where people are before we add too much challenge. We need to pursue a good balance for the individuals we lead. We must observe the fatigue of the summit and make sure we are slowing down to refresh on the descent.

Capacity - Finally, we have to consider capacity. One hundred percent of effort is not the same as it was before the crisis. The rally to the summit has diminished capacities. People may give us all they have, but all they have is less than what it was before the crisis. What is more, if we do not cut back our expectations, we will not allow ourselves and our teams to replenish reserves for the next crisis.

We need to slow down. If we want to finish well, we need to slow our descent and keep our basic safety measures in place: Mission, vision, values.

Return to basics, and expect less from your team, so they can find refreshment and build reserves. I heard one leader share that in his team, they were regularly spending time playing spike ball for thirty minutes or so in the afternoon, to refresh and encourage the team.

Maybe spike ball isn’t your thing, but you need to find ways to let the pressure off for a little bit each day, just ten minutes of play can do wonders to restore and refresh the mind.

Remember the Real Finish Line

Tired people make bad decisions. Tired leaders make devastating decisions.

On May 30, 2002 three people tragically died, because four climbers forgot about the finish line. While the goal of the climb is the summit, the finish line is safely back home hugging your family and sharing the great stories.

As we come down the mountain of crisis, good leaders will focus on the ABC’s and remember that the relationships we keep are far more valuable than the goals we achieve.

Choose relationship today.

Leading After Crisis

Power Skills Consulting

Dow@PowerSkillsConsulting.com

Leading After Crisis